I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
