you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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