There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
worst night to have a conscience
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
