ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
