she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
