last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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