The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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