I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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