Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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