suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
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