i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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