Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
