your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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