I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
