just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
