So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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