lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You've changed since you got that strap on
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
