gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
