He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
