you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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