help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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