Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
