the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
