put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
