Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
