i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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