I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
