WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
