i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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