plz talk dirty to me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
