I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
