It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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