I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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