There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
