Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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