If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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