Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
