she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
