I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Terrible idea I love it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
