his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The air was thick with penises
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
