Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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