PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
