I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
