Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
