So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
