South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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