She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
