i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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