babies were throwing up all over the place
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
