btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
