I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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