Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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