South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
